The Unsalad, Salad

First, let me divulge, if I may, the fact that writing about cooking is usually my way to avoid actually having to do it. With that in mind, today I will share a family recipe that goes all the way back to my mom. At least that's as far back as I can remember. The Unsalad, Salad. Maybe you've heard of it called,  "Dare you find anything green in it, salad, and if you do, for Pete's sake, throw it out!!!"

Mom did not offer too terribly much of the color green in food on the supper table unless it was a Green Bean Casserole of which there exists more Southern varieties than Crayola Crayon's largest box that boasts 120. The most popular being about as homemade as the Ghiradelli box brownie mix recipe, featured earlier. E.g.: "Take two cans of green beans, add a can of Campbell's Condensed Mushroom Soup. Oh! and the secret bling ingredient? Top with French's French Fried Onions." From where?,  another can.

I've endured attempted variations of unsalad, salads (dare I call it, fruit?) at social potlucks of the old fashioned variety under the pseudonym, "Ambrosia.. something of-a-ruther." Although I've never once happened upon one in a natural food deli, or vegetarian gathering among friends. Which is one reason, among one other, I rarely make it here in California. But don't let this deter you. With the advent of the legalization of pot, exceptions will be made. That, and you never know when you'll need a good recipe for a potluck. None I've tried have come close to being as good as Mom's. Which begs the question, "Genetic or social conditioning?" ..but I digress.  Up to the day she died she had one waiting for me in the fridge when I got off the plane-- if I'd put in my request the day before.

The entire family LOVES it! However we have found that it's not as in-law friendly as we'd like. That said, after claiming it the most never-to-eat artificial and unnatural concoction  known to cuisine, one California in-law representative, Mr. G, had a change of heart and decided it was delicious. I can't offer better testament than this.

WARNING: For you au naturales (or wanna be's) of the chef persuasion, DO NOT under any circumstances substitute natural for artificial --canned or otherwise-- in any of the ingredients listed below. In this particular recipe, natural has very little to do with taste. You won't like it, then you'll blame me.

Frosted Fruit Salad
Stuff To Pull Out of the Cupboards After You Get Up Off The Couch and Walk Over to the Kitchen:

Jello Ingredients - 
- 2 small pkgs. jello (3 oz each) one lemon and one orange
- 2 cups hot water
- 1/4 cup concentrated orange juice (Frozen. That's right, don't even think to squeeze fresh and freeze it. Buy it frozen at the market, then measure it out.)
- canned crushed pineapple - 20 oz regular size can
- 3 bananas-sliced
- 1 and 1/2 cups of cold water
- one bag of miniature marshmallows

Topping Ingredients -
- 2 TBL plain white flour (Do not even think to use whole wheat!!)
- 1/2 cup sugar (Do not substitute with honey, agave, stevia, etc.)
- 2 eggs
- 1 cup of pineapple juice (drained from the can)
- 2 pkgs Dream Whip Topping Mix (This being the one other reason I don't make it where I live. Where do you shop to buy this? Good luck. Again, don't think to substitute real whipping cream, you will walk away highly dissatisfied, and not tasting the difference, think it's a so-so recipe.)
- finely chopped pecans, enough to cover the top of a 13 x 9 x 2 inch pyrex dish.

Assemble
Jello:
Mix hot water and powdered jellos until dissolved.
Then add 1 and 1/2 cups cold water.
Drain crushed pineapple and save the liquid.
Mix in the drained crushed pineapple, 1/4 cup frozen concentrated orange juice, and 3 whole bananas--sliced, in with the jello. Pour into a 13 x 9 x 2 inch pyrex dish. Top with a layer of mini marshmallows and refrigerate. Chill 2-3 hours.

Topping:
Whip up two packages of Dream Whip, non-dairy whipping cream. Follow directions on box. (Yes, this is a boxed whipping cream powder!!!) After whipped, set bowl in fridge to chill while you make the rest of the topping.

Over medium heat, mix 1/2 cup sugar, 2 TBL flour, and 2 eggs and cook until it's a thickened paste. Take off heat. Stir in 1 cup pineapple juice from the can of strained crushed pineapples. Cool completely (I put it in the freezer for a few minutes, but, careful if you do!) When cooled, slowly, with spatula, fold in cold whipped up Dream Whip from the fridge into the mixture. You do not want this mixture too thin, so you might not need to use it all. The amount will vary to house temperature and altitude. Spread this mixture over chilled jello. Sprinkle with finely chopped pecans.

Refrigerate a little piece more, about an hour, until the topping sets.

Bling: The bling here is in following the directions explicitly, and sprinkling finely chopped pecans on top.

Suggestions: If, after using all canned and boxed ingredients, this recipe still does not turn out right, channel my mom.

Mmmmm...Now that's good eatin'!

Almost Homemade

Oh the excitement of posting my first recipe! I thought, and thought, "Now which tried and true recipe shall I begin with?" (You know, I didn't want the first one to be a flop.) So after considerable deliberation, I decided on, Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate Brownies.

While running the risk of losing a few viewers right off the bat, in my defense may I suggest that sometimes a boxed brownie recipe can be just as intimidating as a six layered cake made from scratch.  If you're a veteran cook, you know as well as I, that the hardest part of any recipe is to get up off the couch, walk over to the kitchen, and pull out all the ingredients. Hence, my reasoning behind first starting with a box. For novices, and veterans alike, it's a sure thing.

There may be purists among you who feel "If it ain't made from scratch, then it ain't cookin'!" Generally speaking, I would agree. However, upon attempting hundreds of brownie recipes throughout the years, I've found Ghiradelli's to be most consistent for chewiness, and taste. Dark chocolate is my favorite. They have others if you're not keen on dark.


Recipe:
Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
1- Go by the directions on the back of the box explicitly. Until you're ready to bake.

2- Know your oven!!! It will serve your palate very little to know mine, unless of course, I made it. Even then, it can be hit or miss. Place a cooking thermometer in the oven to check its accuracy, or like me, trial and error.

3- Pick your pan size, and may I add, don't vary. I use a metal 8'' x 8'' pan, and while the instructions call for 40-45 minutes, mine are ready in 37 minutes on the dot. Experiment, then note and put to memory the amount of time that works for you.

Bling:
I top warm brownies with *organic strawberries, that have been previously sliced and sprinkled with sugar. Then I add a huge dollup of heavy whipping cream. Splurge, don't buy boxed or canned, always whip up your own. (Unless you're making my Frosted Fruit Salad recipe.) I add confectionary sugar for sweetener in the whipping cream and a splash of pure vanilla extract, right before it peaks.


*Suggestions
May I add a quick remark regarding organic. I have found some people emphasize "...and it's organic!" when serving their delectables, as if to cover for the fact their recipe lacks flavor. Call me intuitive, but I look my ingredients over very carefully before I buy them to make sure they have good energy. Sometimes that's organic, sometimes not. You be the psychic ;)

Stone Ground Rules For The Kitchen

Welcome to my blog about "good eatin'!" At least, this is what passes for good eatin' in my neck of the wood. Before we begin, let me lay down a few ground rules I have in my kitchen that you might want to adopt for yours.

Rule 1- My kitchen is my sanctuary. Silence is golden. Mostly because I've found when whippin' up any recipe new or old whilst entertaining company, somethin's gonna give by way of ingredient. So keep company and your cookin' separate, whenever possible.

Rule 2- Most--not all--men are rarely a good idea to have in the kitchen while cooking, or period. One, because they will sneak and eat more in ingredients than you have available for your recipe. Two, due to a general lack of discernment in taste, they will think up combinations of ingredients never before imagined and insist you try it, critiquing your lack of adventure. Should you refuse, they will have a go of it on their own, and you'll be cleaning up the leftovers of their inedible masterpiece, and kitchen mess. Never mind how it doubles the grocery bill and gas for the car to have to make two trips to the store for more ingredients, when one could suffice.

I think that pretty well sums it up. Oh yeah. Post these two rules on your refrigerator as a reminder. Otherwise, you'll forget then blame me when the recipes don't pan out ;)